First, let me start off by saying drugs are bad. Therefore, there's no reason to pay more than two cents for some good drugs. I'll teach you how to get high quickly and easily, or just kill brain cells.
For getting high I have a couple of methods I stumbled upon. Since I've never taken real drugs I have no idea how you're SUPPOSED to do them, what being "high" really is, what "cigarettes" are, or "how to pee without getting some on my legs", but all I know is it's all a load of bulls***. If you really want to get high, don't smoke pot or crack, it doesn't
even work and costs a ton. Smoke stuff like Captain Crunch Cereal or cat hairs. Just chuck it in a pasta bowl and light it up. If you hear that coughing or smell that rotten egg/burning plastic smell, that means you're high. But you don't have to light things on fire to get high, there's many ways, like moths. You ever pick up a moth by its wings and this friggin moth dust gets all over your hands cause its wings suck? Throw tons of that shit in a Dixie cup and huff it. If you don't have access to moth dust, try huffing some flour or baking soda. Hell, sometimes I'm just making cookies with baking soda and sugar and flour, and right before I pour the eggs in I start huffing it. Before I know it, the whole bowl is empty. It's like when you were a kid and ate the dough before you cooked the cookies!!! Sometimes I'll just go to my little sister's soccer games and huff the dirt on the ground. All her little friends are like "why does your brother sniff dirt, is he retarded or something?" Little whippersnappers don't know what the hell they're talking about. Sometimes you'll just get the best rush from huffing an ant hill. Not just the smooth dirt on top of the hill, but the ants inside. Talk about Ants in the Pants!!! o( 0__v___0)o. But the best rush is smoking your nose. Just put some gas on your nose and light it up, its the fastest way to get that rush. I discovered this by accident one night when I was huffing gasoline then a few minutes later tried to huff fire. Don't blow that money on pot when you can get some great stuff in your own medicine cabinet and broom closets.Now, for killing brain cells, there's so many ways to do this. But I bet you ask "Why would you kill brain cells for no reason, it won't even get you high." Cause its cool, brain cells can eat s***. I mean for starters if you want to kill brain cells, the easiest way is to just drink paint. Drink rubbing alcohol. I spray Windex on a burger before I take a bite. Eat your mom's birth control pills. Substitute salt with ant poison. Before you spray that bees nest with Raid, think twice. When you're getting close to that bee hive spray all the raid in your mouth then huff the angry bees. Pretty soon you lose so many brain cells that you just spray the Raid in your mouth without thinking! But I can't stress enough how great it is to drink paint. After you're done, drink down some turpentine with it to wash the paint out (of your tummy)! o( 0____v__0)o . I mean it's not hard, just start biting the side of your house if you don't want to buy paint. Eat random mushrooms off tree stumps in the forest. Be careful with those tree stump shrooms though, if you eat the wrong ones angry leprechauns appear and try to tickle your pee-pee. Watch out for that Mad Hatter too, always starting trouble... throwing s*** at the movies and leaving his bike in your driveway. But remember, as I always said, "Leprechauns can eat s***... AFTER they tickle my pee-pee."
Well I hope my tips have been helpful, but I have to get back to licking lightbulbs. Paint rules, peace out. - Andy Warhol, through a teenage channeler, Roman Castrato
STUDENT ARTIST
Elizabeth Plumb, 8, a second grader, attends The Oaks School, has been drawing since age 4 and has worked with Linda Wehrli since March 2001. Her favorite medias are pen/ink and charcoal. Favorite subjects include animals and still life. Favorite artists include Magritte, Picasso, Degas, Van Gogh. She was an exhibitor at Octoberfest Fine Arts and Crafts Show 2001. She designed a model art museum at the art show for the Oaks School. She hopes to one day be an architect, own a museum and have her art on display. The picture featured here, “Charcoal Portrait of a Dalmatian”, will be on exhibit at the unit d gallery Jun 9-28, 4795 Vineland Ave, NoHo 818-752-2457.
Dear Diary,
In my 2nd period class, I’m really loud so I stand out. I can be obnoxious sometimes can’t I? I’m like the only white kid, and my teacher has his mind set about what I’m all about. He’s not very open-minded. I connected with one person though, a junior that is the complete opposite of Samantha Malone. Let me explain, he’s seventeen, he has no idea where his dad lives, his mother died and he lives with his grandparents off of his inheritance money. Talk about depressing! How do we have things in common? Don’t ask me. My teacher is still amazed that we are becoming good friends! We just talk to each other and before you know it, the bell rings and we, two completely different people, are walking through the halls talking about our girl/guy problems, and everyone wants to know who’s that guy Samantha’s walking with! Two of my friends actually know of him and think he is so hot! I don’t see it! They were so excited when I said I’d introduce them. Whatever floats their boat I guess!
My new friend comes into class with stories about fights he gets into and how they may not let him graduate. We obviously have different goals. He claims he’s not in a gang, because he is white, but when he tells me his friends were part of a drive by, I’m not so sure. We obviously don’t hang out on the weekends. His friends most likely wouldn’t approve of me, just like some of my friends come up to me and the first thing they have to say is “Sam, are we going to talk about who that boy was?” “What is there to talk about?” I respond “Were just friends!” Is that such a problem Dearest Diary?
I wonder if the two of us will talk after this year. I’m pretty sure we won’t talk after he hopefully graduates and moves on to Pierce or something, but I would like to keep in touch with this mystery friend of mine for as long as I can. I kinda like having a friend on the outside of everything. He doesn’t know anyone I would dare talk to so if I tell him a secret, it won’t get out. We are on complete different sides on the world, yet we attend the same school. My new exciting point of the day, is not kissing my boyfriend (because that relationship has ended) it’s seeing someone I honestly like to laugh with, what’s so funny? I mean what can the both of us honestly find humorous? I don’t know!
Ragtime Ruby
Normally, many of the local music venue performers are recruited to host and perform a night’s worth of entertainment. This practice takes the load off the club’s booking agent by delegating the responsibilities to the evening’s host- such as promotion, advertising, and rounding up a night’s worth of entertainment to fill up the club. Even though it is a daunting task dealing with musicians’ ego problems, the logistics of sound checks, and the “Is it worth it? “ factor when the night is finally over, one entertainer, a sixth grade middle schooler, makes it look so simple…
Ruby Fradkin is an 11 year old stride-pianist who hosted a monthly celebration of ragtime and early American music at Kulak’s Woodshed in North Hollywood. Her first show at Kulak’s was billed as “ Ragtime Ruby & Friends, “ which consisted of three hours of mini sets played by Ruby’s Ragtime Band plus half a dozen guest artists. cont’d at right
Among the guests were Janet Klein & her Parlour Boys, Les Soper, Bill Mitchell, Alexi Bramanavich and the legendary Freebo. The evening proved to be a success with young Ruby introducing the acts and keeping the show rolling at a very nice clip. Ruby can be seen and heard playing with Freebo on “Freebo’s Night.” performing as a piano-tuba duo. “Freebo’s Night” is every Tuesday at 8pm at Kulak’s Woodshed, located at 5230 1/2 Laurel Canyon Blvd, North Hollywood. –LB
Warhol for Kids
Deep down, Andy Warhol was a child- a grown-up child. His passion for collecting toys and other items was legendary. His collection could be described as an eclectic compendium of popular culture.
In 1983, Warhol was consigned to produce a series of 128 paintings for children. He was taken by the idea and began working on the project enthusiastically. He chose the simplest subjects: monkeys, parrots, fish, dogs, pandas, circus clowns, mice and apples. An initial exhibition of these works in Switzerland was a great success, and drew the attention of international media.
Warhol was very fond of children. He got a lot from young people, and at work he surrounded himself with them. Warhol is not the only artist to have painted for children. One of his many predecessors in the field was Pablo Picasso, who, between 1949 and 1951, while living with Francoise Gilot, painted dolls, roosters, Claude and Paloma. Warhol’s Paintings For Children, or Toy Paintings, reflect not only his love for children, but also his very own toy collection, which inspired his works. - Jacob Baal-Teshuva, Andy Warhol: 1928-1987.