Letter from the Editor

Dear Readers,
The trip to Mars is a sham. I’ll tell you what else is a sham: towels. Instead of adding a second bathroom, we just went out and bought some new towels. No matter where we looked, Macy’s, Marshalls, Strouds, Ikea, they were all even more threadbare than our old ones. What is up with that?!

And what’s “shamful” are all the typos, misspelled names, and 6 digit phone numbers in this paper. When I was just getting started, a seasoned newspaper woman told me to never retract anything unless I was forced to. Being the good newspaper-woman-in-training that I am, I followed her advice.

Now she tells me that the New York Times prints a section with all their errors and omissions in every issue. If it’s good enough for the NY Times, it’s good enough for us, and so you see our new section at right. We are so confident about our new proofreading capabilities that we are even offering a prize to the reader who can find the most, if any, typos or omissions in this issue.

What rocks are all the artists in L.A. I was having lunch with Liz, the owner of Mazzarino’s last week when she told me about her niece DJ Colette. I didn’t yet know with whom we were going to offer our free trip to Mars, but when I heard about Colette, I thought, she’s the one.

Talk about serendipity, she was going to Russia the next day to spin for a gathering of folks celebrating women’s month. Can you believe they do that sort of thing in Russia? Within minutes I zeroed in on Global Effects in No. Hollywood where I found the perfect spacesuit for her trip and yours (to Mars). The luck of the Irish! - Annie

The View
by Beverly Garland

The Non-Vote
Voter turnout for the Primary Election on
March 5th was an amazingly low 31%. It upsets me that 69% of California's eligible voters declined to exercise a right thousands upon thousands of people have died for and millions more covet.

Our right to vote was won by patriots, many who gave their lives on battlefields, and the right has been protected for more than 200 years by more patriots, many who also gave their lives.

On the day of our Primary Election, I listened to an all-news radio station's report about the low voter turnout. One caller explained why he wouldn't vote by saying, "I just haven't been able to get into it. With all the turmoil in the World today, especially after September 11th, these primary elections just don't carry enough weight for me to drop everything and go out and vote."

I canvassed several other people and matter-of-factly asked if they had voted. The responses were shocking: "Nope, too busy;" "No time;" "No information on the candidates;" and one answer was unbelievable, "I'm not involved."

That loud noise I heard wasn't thunder. It was our forefathers rolling over in their graves. Some non-voters confessed they weren't motivated because it wasn't the "big picture," meaning it wasn't a national, Presidential election. Regardless of whatever election is being held - national, state, county or city - every election belongs in the "big picture."

If there ever is a time to vote; if there ever is a time to showcase to the world the greatness of Democracy; if there ever is a time to showcase the greatness of America to those who challenge Democracy; that time is, and always will be, any Election Day anywhere in the USA.

In many countries, changes in government don't happen unless someone pulls the trigger on a gun and blood is shed. In our Democracy, changes in government happen with the simple punching of holes in cardboard ballots.

When 69% of registered voters don't vote, it is time to take a long, hard look at what is happening. Do we really understand how the world has changed since September 11th? We are at war. We do not know when it will end - or if it will ever end.

So Beau Bache Earnest Goodman, my six-weeks-old new grandson, when you are old enough to vote, make your grandmother proud by being part of huge, record-setting, voter turnouts.

- Beverly Garland is an actress, owner of the Beverly Garland Holiday Inn in No. Hollywood, and Honorary Mayor of No. Hollywood.

The 6th Element
by Juan Maldonado
RUN-DMC
Inducted into Hollywood’s RockWalk
The Kings of Rock (better known as RUN-DMC) were honored on Monday, February 25, with their induction into Hollywood’s RockWalk. The ceremony took place on a rare, sweltering afternoon in front of scores of their die-hard fans. Many of today’s hip hop stars including Jay-Z, Snoop Dog, Jermaine Dupree, “Yo MTV Raps”’ host Ed Lover, and fellow old school rhymer Melle Mel came out to show their support for the 3 trailblazers.
Being the first hip hop group to bless the Hollywood’s RockWalk is consistent with the group’s career, which is brimming with hip hop “firsts.” Their most famous feat is that of being the first rap group to successfully do the rock ’n’ roll crossover with their legendary collaboration with Aerosmith on “Walk This Way.” They were also the first hip hop group to successfully mesh hip hop and reggae thanks to their collaboration with King Yellowman in 1985 with their cut “Roots, Rap, Reggae.” Along with their many feats, RUN-DMC was the first rap group to have records go both gold and platinum. However, if you as Jam Master Jay what the group’s biggest achievement is he’ll tell you “longevity.” He speaks the truth, not too many hip hop artists can make that claim. Personally I hope RUN-DMC are around for another 20 years. Congratulations, fellas.

Hip Hop Fashions
part 2
Why are the high prices for hip hop clothing lines so disturbing? Because of two reasons, corporations who manufacture the clothing lines are alienating the very people who participate in the culture by completely ignoring hip hop’s origins. Also, by setting the prices sky high, the clothing lines tend to perpetuate a materialistic mind-frame in youth as well as in adults.

It happens all the time. Someone chooses to spend $90 on a pair of Rocawear Jeans knowing full well that they or their parents need that money to pay the bills. This may seem like an extreme example but it’s happened. I’ve seen it happen. People flaunting money that they may not even have. Yet, another symptom of commercial radio pushing music that promotes avariciousness.

So what are some possible solutions to the problem? I propose this to all emcees and designers that want to start their own clothing line: if you’re going to market something to the urban population, don’t forget about the roots of the culture and the people who made it possible. Instead of looking to exploit your people look to better your people. Put out a high quality line of clothing that the community can afford. Stop perpetuating the bling bling attitude, and start empowering future generations.
- Juan Maldonado

Daily
Dudes by Dru Gash

I was very hungry the night I working on my “Daily Dudes,” and I was next to this Mexican restaurant I've been meaning to check out, so I decided to exercise the power of the press and get a free meal. Now I have to plug them. I started with Albondigas soup as an appetizer; it's a meatball and vegetable soup. The meatballs are prepared with cilantro and the yoke of an egg cooked in a vegetable broth. It was delicious. If I wasn't so hungry it could've stood as the main course. But then I wouldn't have had the pollo pipian, which is baked chicken with a sauce made up of sunflower seeds, peanut butter, cilantro, and chili sauce, and served with Spanish rice and beans. It's a traditional Mexican dish. It too was very good.
The atmosphere was soothing and all of the Mexican art work occupied my eyes while The Robertos entertained me. After I was done eating, Antonio gave me a very in-depth tour of all the photographs of him with the various celebrities who have eaten at his restaurant. Antonio's 7470 Melrose Ave. 323-655-0480. ed.nt. Antonio’s has been around since before I was born. That can’t be him sitting in the middle!

Cecily Speaks
by Cecily Knobler
Lapse of Reason


I HAVE NO INTERNAL GOVERNOR. You know how most people have that chip in their brain that stops them from saying weird things like "Did you catch the Real World/Road Rules Challenge last night?" I have no little voice that says "Cecily, these people don't need to hear what you programmed on TiVo and what's more, it's very strange that you would watch those shows, seeing as how you're thirty." Wait. Let me amend this. I DO have an Internal Governor...he just, in the simplest of terms, hates me. He was sworn into office the day that my kind, but feeble Super-Ego passed away. I am left with a bitter pawn who either purposely or by malfunction supplies lines like "Man, it's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a New York waiter." That is ridiculous. You and I both know that, but little glitched IG (let's call him Iggy) thinks it's hilarious.
Iggy also lies. He has me tell everyone that I was a member of Yale's "Purple Crayon" Improv troup and/or that I am an ordained Minister. Neither of which are remotely true, considering that I didn't go to Yale and I'm Jewish. These are fibs that don't actually get me in trouble, (unless someone needs an emergency marriage performed,) but Iggy doesn't stop there. He thinks it's very clever to have me agree to situations that no one in their right mind would allow. Let me exemplify.
Someone recently said to me, "I will never want a romantic relationship with you, but I'd like to be able to call you when things are "slow on my end", if ya know what I mean, to um... have sex." Clearly his IG is not from the best crop either. Mine is worse because the answer provided was "Sounds great!" Okay, now giving Iggy a break, it's certainly not the WORST proposal. I do enjoy this particular person's "company" and really, who needs romance when you've got HBO?
But Iggy took me to an all-time low last week. I received the usual, "Hey do you want to come over and watch "Bob Patterson?" phone call. After it sunk in, "I don't even think that's ON anymore and why...OH...gotcha....be right over." We drank our usual Smirnoff Ices and like clockwork, our night began. Everything seemed fine until, I guess as a joke, Iggy had me yell out "I'm falling in love with you!"
"NO IGGY! BAD BAD IGGY!" 
My "friend" stopped in his tracks. Iggy got pissed by my scolding, but after some coaxing, advised, "Blame-it-on-the-drugs." And so I said "I must have just had a weird ecstasy flash-back" and to make it sound more convincing, "You are so beautiful."
My "friend" has not called since. Perhaps he and Iggy are now an item. They were of little use to me anyhow.
- Cecily Knobler is a stand-up comedian,
and former morning host on KZLA.

That's Amoré
by Laura Charelian
Don’t Worry, Be Ready
Dear Laura:
Every time I fall in love I am sure this is “the one.” So far, I have been so wrong it’s scary. If I hear, “Don’t worry, when it’s right you’ll know,” one more time I’ll scream. HOW do you know? - So Confused
Dear So Co:
Wouldn’t it be great if the appearance of true love was accompanied by flashing lights and sirens just like on The Price Is Right? It sounds as if you’ve had your share of unfortunate romantic mishaps, but have emerged relatively unscathed. Be thankful for that. Now, what can you do?
1. Learn. Learn from your mistakes, that’s what they’re for. Write down the reasons your major relationships went sour and why they ended. Be honest! It takes two to untangle. Hey, everybody plays the fool sometime.
2. Evolve. Look inside. Do you have unrealistic expectations of relationships? Concentrate on your strengths and what you have to contribute. When you come from a place of strength, detrimental need will morph into constructive desire and the negative attraction generated from that need dissipates.
To cut through the crap, on your next date employ my “5 C Checklist.” If your date doesn’t score high marks on at least 4 of the 5, you’re courting disappointment:
1. Chemistry – some degree of mutual attraction
2. Communication – an enjoyable, fluid exchange of ideas and feelings
3. Compatibility – basic preferences, morals, attitudes in common
4. Consideration – mutual respect and interest in the other’s well-being
5. Commitment – both parties are interested in long-term exclusivity. (This does not mean you discuss china patterns on your first date.)
Worry clouds the mind and is a useless activity. On some level you will know when you’ve met the right person. Most happily coupled people I’ve canvassed agree. One thing they all had in common was that they were ready for a committed love to enter their life. You attract what you’re ready for.
News flash: there is no “the one.” There is the perfect person for you at your time of readiness. True love will be recognized when the time is right. It is not located in one static place or rooted in a specific moment in time waiting to be “found” like a needle in a haystack. It is constantly evolving, coming into its own destiny. There could be many individuals capable of sharing a true love with any one individual. The right one will be revealed at the moment of readiness.
- Send your love-related questions or comments to amore@us.inter.net.

To Buy or To Sell
Is it a buyer’s market or a seller’s market? If I sell now am I getting out too early? If I buy now are we looking at a turn in the economic situation that could cost me money? Those are big questions. In this series of articles on real estate, I hope to help you answer them and more.
First we need to look at the Los Angeles economy. We are secular. Our economy doesn’t necessarily move with the industries that control the national economy. Ours is based largely on entertainment and tourism. So, while we’ve heard about large layoffs and companies crumbling, our Los Angeles economy is still relatively strong.
It is clear that there are buyers in L.A. in abundance within all pricing segments. Last year for example, in the South San Fernando Valley, homes priced below $400,000 were selling briskly while the higher priced homes were slow to move. This year, so far, we’re seeing all pricing segments and most neighborhoods showing a great deal of movement.
There is a short supply of homes available. This past quarter there have been less than 2,600 single family homes for sale in the entire San Fernando Valley. To put that in perspective, during the ’90s there was a time when 13,000 homes were for sale in the Valley. Although there are no figures regarding the number of people looking to buy, I can assure you, there are more well qualified buyers than decent homes available. All of that means it’s a good time to sell. The rule of supply and demand means the seller can and most likely will, raise the price.
Does this mean that it’s a bad time to buy? Absolutely, positively not. Whether you are thinking of buying a home to stop throwing money away on rent or are thinking of an investment, it’s an ideal time to jump in. Why? Because interest rates are drastically low, the stock market has been perilous for investment, our economy in L. A. is sound, and real estate has a proven record of being the best investment one can make. This is one of few times when the market is good for both buyer and seller.
-Chris Bradley is an aagent at Prudential California Realty, John Aaroe Division (818) 929-0180.

Do-it Yourself
Acupressure
by Allison Howard
Herbs
How Safe Are They?
Q I know you work with herbs as well as acupressure. I’ve heard about the dangers of herbs and substances in herbs like Ephedra. Are they safe to use?
A It is definitely safe to use herbs. They are a gentle and natural way to rebalance the body. But as with any potent substance or even food, we need to choose the herb or food that is right for our constitution. At a very simple level, if our constitution is too hot then we would feel poorly after consuming Cayenne pepper or too much salsa. For a colder constitution, eating ice cream or more cooling herbs like Shi Gao (Gypsum) may cause diarrhea or digestive discomfort. There are many other variables including whether an individual is too damp or dry, too yin or yang or has an excess or deficient constitution. This is why it can be a good idea to consult with a licensed herbalist prior to choosing an herb or herbal formula.
There has been concern about the use of Ma Huang (also known as Ephedrine or Ephedra) for dieting and athletic performance enhancement. Ma Huang is a very good herb for short term use with lung congestion, sinus infection and some flu symptoms or in very small doses for more chronic conditions such as asthma. Using Ma Huang in large doses for extended periods of time is not safe, especially for someone with a more deficient or weaker constitution. What may be a great herb when you’re sick may make you feel less than well when you’re healthy. Chinese herbs are gentle and safe but as with anything else, it is possible to misuse them.
Herbal healing is rooted in the folk medicine of many cultures and has been perfected and refined over thousands of years in China. It is an incredibly valuable resource. My advice is to stay well educated on any product that you consume and when possible check in with a licensed herbal practitioner.
- Allison Howard, L.Ac. is a licensed acupuncturist & herbalist practicing on Riverside Dr. in No. Hollywood. 818-508-0885 or email allipuncture@msn.com.